I Hate You…

There is that saying that any man can make a child, but not every man can be a father.  It is a wonderful day when your kids are born and then  you watch them as they grow up.  You are there to provide for there needs, sometimes making personal sacrifices to ensure their safety and happiness.  You are there to love and care for them and you do what you think is best for them, because that is your duty as a parent. Then there comes that day, that for whatever reason, you realize that you do not even know this child that you have so lovingly cared for when you hear them say “I hate you”.

At first, your mind blows at the fact that they could even utter those words.  I mean everything that they are wearing when they told you that, you provided.  The designer jeans and shoes, the gear that makes them so fly, has all been because of you.  Now while your mind is blowing, your heart has just felt the impact of their words as you can see the utter hate on their face as the words resonate with you.

If you have ever had to hear these words or been in this situation you know exactly what I am talking about.  It is hard to believe that this happens, but until you experience it for yourself you could not possibly understand.  After you get over the initial shock, it quickly turns into rage as you think of the personal sacrifices that you have made for them.  The rage becomes a buffer for the pain you feel and you do everything in your power not to turn that rage onto them.

I have been told that it is just typical teenager behavior, but for a parent who has given so much,  to hear those words come from your  own child is a revelation.  If you had been told that by a lover or friend, it would be grounds for ending that relationship, but when it is your own child, it is not that easy.

There are those who will say that this is a cry for help, there are others who advise that you will need to be stricter with your child and show them who is the boss.  In the end, you must decide on whether you will be able to move past that or will it become someplace for you to dwell.  For some parents, they find it hard to  forgive them for what was said, because you will never be able to forget it.

You can only be resolved that you have been the best parent that I can be.  I have made some mistakes, but ultimately I have done what I think was best.  If I had the chance to do it all over again would I?  There are days that I would say yes in a minute, but today I would have to be honest and say “No”.  I think that it takes a special man to be a father, and I think that with everything that I have to offer, being a father has not been one of my strong points.

I use to say how could someone not want to have children, well I get it now.

Kiyong Tai

Urban Brotha.com is proud to introduce author, entrepreneur, and lifestyle/political blogger David "Kiyongtai" Allison-McPherson. Kiyongtai is responsible for creating G2G Urban a boutique Communications and Marketing firm that specializes in urban marketing and brand development . His most recent startup is K'TAI Cosmetics, and exclusive makeup line for women of color. His work is visible on a number of social network sites that carry his distinctive style of creativity and design ranging from dating networks, internet publications and lifestyle communities.

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